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Appenings.
Character: Jake Jensen
Series: The Losers (Vertigo)
Character Age: Late twenties
Job: Leader of Operations for Strong and Enduring Relationships
Canon: The Losers! A totally respectable name for a five-member Special Forces team formerly working under the Central Intelligence Agency. They were betrayed by their handler, Max, who attempted to kill them on one of their missions. They survived, but the entire world believes that they were all “killed in action”. Now, they go on covert operations against the CIA so they can get revenge on Max and get their lives back.
Jake Jensen is the Losers' intelligence specialist and hacker. He's the youngest and most laid-back among the team. He hasn’t ignored the fact that everyone thinks he’s dead, but he doesn’t let that get to him either. He’s an energetic and carefree guy with a knack for making inappropriate comments, and getting into awkward and problematic situations. Like everyone else on the team, he sprinkles most of what he says with a healthy dose of cursing. He talks a lot, and goes off on random tangents, and definitely needs to be told when to shut up. He’s good at being ridiculous and making a fool out of himself, especially in front of women. All-in-all, Jensen is a cool and confident man who works and plays at the same time. Whether it’s picking up women or hacking a computer, he’ll do it in style.
Sample Post:
Helloooooo, lady. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. Maybe if your man's name was Jensen, you wouldn’t need to do any looking. Because, you know, then I'd be your ma-- I just want to clarify that I would never hit on someone who’s already taken. I mean, I know I look good, but if you’re fine with your man already, then there’s nothing I can do, right? So. . . I probably should have asked if you already have someone else before doing this whole thing-- you know what? Here’s something to lighten the mood. It’s a flashbang. I wanted to lighten the mood, get it?
Holy shit-- calm the fuck down, Marce! That was really good, jeez! Put those tentacles down and listen here, Marcy. I’m giving you a good and actual field demonstration of how a mission’s supposed to go. If you’re not gonna do what your commanding officer tells you to do, you’re gonna die out there in the field. It’s like the wild, wild west out there! Either you get a yes and make it out alive, get rejected, or worse. . . get friend zoned. You ask Mr. Zombie out now, and you’re gonna get friend zoned so hard and you’ll never be able to move past that. Never. And you’re gonna get left for dead. That’s why you gotta learn from me and not hit me in the face!
Anyway, I told you that lesson number one in making strong and enduring relationships is to always be confident, right? Even if you look ridiculous, you better look ridiculous with pride. Now, lesson number two’s set the mood right. If you look ridiculous, make sure it’s romantic ridiculous and not creepy. I’m pretty sure I covered both those points with what I demonstrated earlier. Also, you need to know that people play hard to get all the fuckin’ time. No lady’s gonna wanna look easy, except on the eyes. So even if you’ve got the good looks and charm, you still gotta learn how to break the ice. That’s how it’s done, alright? Anyway, that’s it for today. My own mission starts at nineteen-hundred, so I need to know if this operation’s gonna work or not. So, without hitting me in the face, let’s hear it. What do you think? What’s my chance of survival?
Sixty-nine percent, what?! No, no, no-- I’m sure you think that kinda shit is funny, but right the fuck now, it isn’t. Especially when the passing rate’s seventy!
(Voting went here. 36/4)
Series: The Losers (Vertigo)
Character Age: Late twenties
Job: Leader of Operations for Strong and Enduring Relationships
Canon: The Losers! A totally respectable name for a five-member Special Forces team formerly working under the Central Intelligence Agency. They were betrayed by their handler, Max, who attempted to kill them on one of their missions. They survived, but the entire world believes that they were all “killed in action”. Now, they go on covert operations against the CIA so they can get revenge on Max and get their lives back.
Jake Jensen is the Losers' intelligence specialist and hacker. He's the youngest and most laid-back among the team. He hasn’t ignored the fact that everyone thinks he’s dead, but he doesn’t let that get to him either. He’s an energetic and carefree guy with a knack for making inappropriate comments, and getting into awkward and problematic situations. Like everyone else on the team, he sprinkles most of what he says with a healthy dose of cursing. He talks a lot, and goes off on random tangents, and definitely needs to be told when to shut up. He’s good at being ridiculous and making a fool out of himself, especially in front of women. All-in-all, Jensen is a cool and confident man who works and plays at the same time. Whether it’s picking up women or hacking a computer, he’ll do it in style.
Sample Post:
Helloooooo, lady. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. Maybe if your man's name was Jensen, you wouldn’t need to do any looking. Because, you know, then I'd be your ma-- I just want to clarify that I would never hit on someone who’s already taken. I mean, I know I look good, but if you’re fine with your man already, then there’s nothing I can do, right? So. . . I probably should have asked if you already have someone else before doing this whole thing-- you know what? Here’s something to lighten the mood. It’s a flashbang. I wanted to lighten the mood, get it?
Holy shit-- calm the fuck down, Marce! That was really good, jeez! Put those tentacles down and listen here, Marcy. I’m giving you a good and actual field demonstration of how a mission’s supposed to go. If you’re not gonna do what your commanding officer tells you to do, you’re gonna die out there in the field. It’s like the wild, wild west out there! Either you get a yes and make it out alive, get rejected, or worse. . . get friend zoned. You ask Mr. Zombie out now, and you’re gonna get friend zoned so hard and you’ll never be able to move past that. Never. And you’re gonna get left for dead. That’s why you gotta learn from me and not hit me in the face!
Anyway, I told you that lesson number one in making strong and enduring relationships is to always be confident, right? Even if you look ridiculous, you better look ridiculous with pride. Now, lesson number two’s set the mood right. If you look ridiculous, make sure it’s romantic ridiculous and not creepy. I’m pretty sure I covered both those points with what I demonstrated earlier. Also, you need to know that people play hard to get all the fuckin’ time. No lady’s gonna wanna look easy, except on the eyes. So even if you’ve got the good looks and charm, you still gotta learn how to break the ice. That’s how it’s done, alright? Anyway, that’s it for today. My own mission starts at nineteen-hundred, so I need to know if this operation’s gonna work or not. So, without hitting me in the face, let’s hear it. What do you think? What’s my chance of survival?
Sixty-nine percent, what?! No, no, no-- I’m sure you think that kinda shit is funny, but right the fuck now, it isn’t. Especially when the passing rate’s seventy!
(Voting went here. 36/4)